Ok so I have just returned from Italy

Italy was really awesome and fun. Clothes and shoes and bags and other fun, leathery products... MMMM. As well as seeing the works of great artists and the world's best fanart. Glory to Michelangelo!

However...
I am exhausted.
3 weeks = tiring
Note to self: Vacations must last no more than 2 weeks
I need a vacation from vacation. Bleh
Also I'm starting to suffer from jetlag. That never used to be a problem. ONOEZ im getting old! *waddles around croaking at young'uns*

Also...
I have about 2... no, 3... no, 4 hundred letters to sort through.
Let's see what came in the mail!

Report cards! LOL
Guess what grade Beagle gave me after telling me that she would miss me and after giving me some award that I still haven't picked up yet (probably never will) and telling me what an awesomely creative and talented person I am (man she sure can flatter). That's right, A REALLY LOW GRADE. Asian fail at any rate.

APs! LOL!!!

Yeah I'm not even gonna say a whisper of that test result since it was so abysmal.

Anyway I have happily discovered a program that allows me to enjoy my favorite childhood GB/GBC games right here on my DS. No longer am I restrained to running emulators and roms on the computer -- now I can play Pokemon Crystal and Dragon Warrior III on the crapper. Squee!!

I hope summer is working out great for the rest of you. Ciao!

I've decided to give one more go at UC Davis.

As we bemoaned our college rejections in Economics, a certain buddy of mine told me to appeal.

"It's your dream school, Amanda! I believe in you! GO FOR IT!"

Actually, it wasn't as eloquent as that. It was more like, "I heard UC Davis accepted 20% of its appeals, that's pretty good compared to other schools."

So yeah, 20% is still something right?

I'll regret it forever if I don't do this.

Wish me luck.

Yay! I'm getting a new laptop! Actually tablet PC but whatever

Um now I've narrowed my choice down to two, um, choices.

Fujitsu Lifebook T4220 vs. Lenovo ThinkPad x61t

guh I really hate long names

anyway!

um i'm too lazy to explain it so i'm just gonna give you a link and you guys can explore for yourselves

haha

[link]

So I basically have 4 choices for college.

*NOTE*

I screwed up in high school. I screwed up a lot. If you want to know how much I screwed up, then continue reading. But if you just want to compare GPAs and stroke your ego, go awayyyy

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1. UC Riverside - fairly ripped apart on this one. They have this FastStart thingy that I can apply for to get all my core science classes out of the way so I can focus on the advanced classes. They had this really cool welcoming thingy at the LA Westin hotel which really hooked me. They apparently have a very good medical program.

Unfortunately my cousin went there and my family is probably going to compare the crap out of us, and will snicker behind my back for being an american-born, resident of san marino, college-grad parents kid going to a second-rate UC. Also the air quality sucks and it's in a ghetto area and... well, it's UCR.

2. UC Santa Cruz - doesn't rate much higher than UCR but meh. It's a beautiful campus. It's like living in a national forest. And living by the beach. And living in a grassy meadow. And living in a woodland ravine. Other than that I don't know much more, except that my family will be prouder of me because I am going to UCSC which is (allegedly) better than UCR.

Oh, but it's also full of pot-smokin' hippies, or so I've heard. And I have no idea about how strong their biology program is. Or anything else, actually. IT'S A TOTAL MYSTERY! Wait, their astrophysics are top-notch, but goddamnit I am staying as far away from physics as I can.

And their mascot is - get this - THE BANANA SLUG.

W. T. F.

3. UC Merced - guh. That's all I can say.

I haven't found any info on it anywhere.

Nobody knows anything about it.

It's too new.

The only reason I would go is probably because it's really small and I can learn more from small classes. Yeah.

Oh yeah and since it's so new it'll be nice and clean and not worn-out

4. PCC - or any community college. It's cheap. It's close to home. I can get a guarantee of admission to Davis, which is the dream school that I just got a slap-in-the-face rejection from. Yeah it stings when bunches of people are like "yeah I got in but there's no way I'm gonna go there" and I'm secretly sobbing inside because I would trade away my soul in an instant for the chance. I digress; PCC will let me transfer there and I can get my degree from the King of Animal Science Colleges!

Then again, I can transfer from UCR/SC/M too, it'll just be harder (way harder). And I really want to experience the whole college life thing and live on my own and stuff. Plus PCC is not exactly new and beautiful. And it's like high school 1.5. Gah.

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Yep. So I basically got rejected from everywhere else. I'm a pretty crappy student, eh

I really will study harder in college though.

I want to be a vet.

That's not gonna happen without a super GPA to help me into those super-selective vet schools.

If not a vet, I'll be some kind of animal researcher.

Again, not gonna be a good career without a grad school degree.

There is no way I'm gonna slack off in college.

...Somebody help me decide.

I have such a strong fantasy of traveling back in time.

I want to erase all those mistakes I've made. I want to redo my life with a little more wisdom.

How could I have been so dumb to throw away so many opportunities?
So many friends, too.
So many things...

I can't stop imagining it. All those things that I want to change keep replaying in my head. I keep dreaming up different answers to those scenarios, but they all remind me of one thing: it's not possible.

Time travel isn't possible.
Time travel isn't possible.

TIME. TRAVEL. ISN'T. POSSIBLE.

Then I think of the things I could screw up again. Maybe I'd never meet any of you. Maybe I would be part of a different crowd. That would certainly be sad.

And there's things I don't want to live through again. The death of my pets, the loss of friends, my parents' illnesses, the shame of my endless embarrassments.

But maybe I could solve those problems, if I could just redo the past.

Why can't I stop thinking about this?